The holidays are a happy season for celebrating with family, friends and coworkers. But for many people, it is also a time of heightened anxiety and stress. Often, people get worked up from the increased responsibilities, lofty expectations and soaring financial pressures that go with the holidays, and that causes distress.

It’s impossible to avoid all stressful situations. Chances are there will be increased traffic – and maybe bad weather, road closures and delays – at this time of year. But you don’t have to add to that stress by trying to accomplish everything. Tell yourself that you don’t have to be perfect; repeat it until you believe it.

If you get stressed out during the holidays, this blog is for you. We’ll explore some suggestions for staying calm during the holidays.

No Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or other holiday celebration is going to be perfect, so don’t set unrealistic expectations for your family activities. Don’t get overwhelmed by the pressure of creating holiday events that resemble a Norman Rockwell portrait. Keep in mind that as families grow and change, traditions and rituals change as well.

Instead of trying to fit in all of your traditions, identify the most important ones and take small steps to make them a reality. Be open to creating new traditions as well. For example, if your adult children can’t be with you, make them part of your celebration by sharing emails, photos and videos.

And when your family is gathered, set aside any differences you may have. Accept your family members as they are, even if they haven’t lived up to your expectations. Be understanding if others become distressed when something goes wrong. They’re probably feeling the stress of the holidays just like you.

Be proactive. The holidays are about bringing people together, not driving them apart. Focus on good memories and what family members have in common. Don’t debate differences of opinion during holiday dinner. There are more appropriate times and places for those discussions.

Keep things in perspective. It helps to remember that the holiday season is short. If something goes wrong, it’s not the end of the world. That situation will quickly pass. To recover, think of the good things in your life and accept that there’s time after the holidays to do more of the things you didn’t have time to do during the actual holiday season.

Remember what’s important. Our consumer culture has a way of robbing the holiday season of its authentic meaning and cashing in on a time that once had personal significance to us. For you, that significance may surround family, community or faith. Take time to reestablish what made the season significant for you in the first place. Volunteer in the community or help someone in need to reaffirm what the season is all about.

Many people spend excessive amounts of money in pursuit of perfect gifts, but that can intensify stress. Remember, you can’t buy happiness with expensive gifts. Before you go shopping, determine how much you can really afford to spend on gifts and stick to your budget. Try online shopping to avoid crowded malls and the stress that goes with them.

As an alternative to buying expensive gifts for everyone on your list, consider donating to a charity in a loved one’s name, giving homemade gifts or starting a family gift exchange.

Accept that there’s only so much time during the holidays and you cannot attend every party and event. Your friends will understand if you can’t make their get-together. They’re in the same boat with similar limits on time. Skip seeing The Nutcracker, even if it’s a holiday tradition. The ballet will run again next year, when you may have more time to see it.

Skip the alcohol. Drinking alcohol is a big contributor to holiday stress. A drink or two in moderation probably won’t hurt, unless you’re a recovering alcoholic. But drinking can lead to serious problems, including the potential of arrest for driving under the influence or, even worse, an auto crash that causes injury or death. Consider drinking something festive and nonalcoholic. It’s a safer choice and will reduce your stress level.

Make sure to take care of your health. Get adequate sleep and don’t forget regular workouts, even when your time is consumed by holiday preparations and activities. Your body needs sleep to recharge and renew its cells. Even with the crunch on your time, try to get eight hours of sleep each night.

Exercise is a natural stress reliever. It rids the body of stress hormones and releases endorphins, the body’s feel-good neurotransmitters. Exercise has been found to reduce anger, tension, fatigue and confusion. Studies show that when regular exercisers become inactive, they begin to feel depressed and fatigued after just one week.

If you’ve tried multiple stress-relieving tips and still suffer, consider seeing a professional for help. A therapist can teach you additional strategies for easing the stress of the season or any other time.

Patti DiPanfilo

The holidays are a happy season for joyfully celebrating with family, friends, and coworkers. But for many people, this season is also a time of heightened anxiety and stress. Often, people get worked up from the increased responsibilities, lofty expectations and soaring financial pressures that go along with the holidays, and that causes them distress.

If you get stressed out during the holidays, this blog is for you. In it, we explore some helpful suggestions for staying calm during the upcoming holiday season.

It’s impossible to avoid all stressful situations. Chances are there will be increased traffic – and maybe bad weather, road closures and delays – at this time of year. But you don’t have to add to that stress by trying to accomplish everything this holiday season and expecting to be perfect. Tell yourself that you don’t have to be perfect and repeat it until you believe it.

No Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or other holiday celebration is going to be perfect, so don’t set unrealistic expectations for your family activities. Don’t get overwhelmed by the pressure of creating holiday events that resemble a Norman Rockwell portrait. Keep in mind that as families grow and change, their holiday traditions and rituals change as well.

Instead of trying to fit in all of your holiday traditions, identify your most important traditions and take small steps to make them a reality. Be open to creating new traditions as well. For example, if your adult children can’t be with you, make them part of your celebration by sharing emails, photos, and videos.

And when your family is gathered together, set aside any differences you may have. Accept your family members as they are, even if they haven’t lived up to your expectations. Be understanding if others become distressed when something goes wrong. They’re probably feeling the stress of the holidays just like you are.

Be proactive. The holidays are about bringing people together, not driving them apart. Focus on good memories and what family members have in common. Don’t debate differences of opinion during your holiday dinner. There are more appropriate times and places for those discussions.

Keep things in perspective. It helps to remember that the holiday season is short. If something goes wrong, it’s not the end of the world. That situation will quickly pass. To recover, think of the good things in your life and accept that there’s time after the holidays to do more of the things you didn’t have time to do during the actual holiday season.

Remember what’s important. Our consumer culture has a way of robbing the holiday season of its authentic meaning and cashing in on a time that once had personal significance to us. For you, that significance may surround family, community, or faith. Take time to re-establish what made the season significant for you in the first place. Volunteer in the community or help someone in need to reaffirm what the season is all about.

Many people spend excessive amounts in pursuit of perfect holiday gifts for family and friends, but that can intensify stress. Remember, you can’t buy happiness with expensive gifts. Before you go shopping, determine how much money you can really afford to spend on gifts and stick to your budget. Try online shopping to avoid crowded malls and the stress that goes along with that.

As an alternative to buying expensive gift for everyone on your list, consider donating to a charity in a loved one’s name, giving homemade gifts, or starting a family gift exchange.

Accept that there’s only so much time during the holidays and you cannot attend every party and event. Your friends will understand if you can’t make their get-together. They’re in the same boat with similar limits on their time. Skip seeing the Nutcracker, even if it’s a holiday tradition. The ballet will run again next year when you may have more time to see it.

Skip the alcohol. Drinking alcohol is a big contributor to holiday stress. A drink or two in moderation probably won’t hurt, unless you’re a recovering alcoholic, but drinking heavily can lead to serious problems, including an arrest for driving under the influence. Consider drinking something festive and nonalcoholic. It’s a safer choice and will reduce your stress level.

Make sure to take care of your health. Get adequate sleep and don’t forget your regular workouts, even when your time is consumed by holiday preparations and activities. Your body needs sleep to recharge and renew its cells. Even with the crunch on your time, try to get 8 hours of sleep each night.

Exercise is a natural stress reliever. It rids the body of stress hormones and releases endorphins, the body’s feel-good neurotransmitters. Exercise has been found to reduce anger, tension, fatigue and confusion. Studies show that when regular exercisers become inactive, they begin to feel depressed and fatigued after just one week.

If you’ve tried multiple stress relieving tips and still suffer, consider seeing a professional for help. A therapist can teach you additional strategies for easing the stress of the holiday season and anytime.

According to a survey report from the American Psychological Association released last month, more than half of Americans consider the present the lowest point in US history they can remember. This conclusion came from people of every generation including those who lived through Word War II and Vietnam, the Cuban Missile Crises and the attacks on September 11. The purpose of the survey was to measure stress in America.

If we’re already stressed, how are we going to handle the upcoming holidays, which can be stressful on their own? For many people, the holidays also bring feelings of sadness and depression. And some are affected by the shortened days and dearth of daylight at this time of the year. Most of us need some help to get through it.

Don’t worry. There are many steps you can take to help manage stress, and the anxiety and depression that can come with it. I’ll tell you more about that later. But first, let’s consider one reason the holidays are so stressful to start out with.

According to an article from Harvard, it’s a brain thing. The article’s author noted another survey whose respondents reported financial demands, dealing with family and maintaining personal health habits as their main holiday stressors. Responding to challenges like these requires shifting our cognitive strategies, and that’s where brain function comes in, specifically cognitive function.

Cognitive functioning is a type of executive functioning, which is responsible for getting things done. This type of functioning is done by the frontal lobe of the brain. The skills that are part of cognitive functioning include managing time, being attentive, switching focus, planning and organizing, and remembering details.

These skills are in very high demand during the holidays. People who manage holiday stress the best are those who have “cognitive flexibility.” They are able to shift their attention between tasks and rapidly adapt to changing environments. Unfortunately, that flexibility can be difficult to achieve for most people.

For those of us who are less flexible and need more help managing stress, there are many resources with coping strategies on the Internet. I’ve chosen these three to garner a few tips to note.3,4,5 There are more tips in these articles and elsewhere.

• Be realistic and keep things in perspective. We often set high expectations for the holidays, but rarely do the actually experiences match our images. Accept that the holidays don’t have to be perfect, and remember what the season is really about. You don’t have to buy extravagant gifts to have a happy holiday.
• Take time for yourself. You’ll be running around trying to make the holidays fun for everyone else, but take a few minutes to take a breath and take care of yourself. Even if it’s just 15 minutes alone, it will help recharge you. Do some yoga if you can or just some deep breathing.
• Don’t neglect your healthy habits. Just because it’s the holidays, don’t give up your healthy diet or your exercise routine. Try to get at least eight hours of good sleep every night. These behaviors are natural stress busters, so try not to abandon them just because you’re busy with other things.
• Learn to say “no.” For most of us, it’s impossible to make it to every party and do every activity scheduled around the holidays, and still fit in work. It’s okay if you can’t make it to someone’s event, and don’t feel guilty about it. They’ll understand how tightly your time is stretched. They’re going through the same thing!
• Be grateful. The thoughts around the holidays generally center on “what I want” and “who is not here.” Instead, try changing your focus and thinking about “what I have” and “who is with me.” Recent research found that gratitude led to lower levels of stress and depression.

These are just a few ideas for managing the holidays. If you still suffer after taking steps to reduce stress, especially if you feel anxious or depressed, see a qualified therapist. Talking to a therapist can help you work through your struggle and feel better. The therapist can also give you additional strategies for your battle against stress.